i love you

somehow my life has the ability to feel the best it ever has been yet still not be perfect.
ohh jeeze i dont even know what im saying anymore. basically im stuck in this mind set that ive taken a step backwards in life by going to wcc.
im not saying wcc is a bad school or anything bc even though everyone makes fun of it and such deep down we know its a good education. the part that sucks is that ive matured and seen what type of realistic life that i can/want to hav for my future and being so close to moving foward and getting to that point in my life but then i hav to come back to wcc for financial reasons basically is why i left lasell. and as much as i complain and hated it there im glad it all happened.
i mean i did really well acedemically there and met one of my close friends at this point in my life there, i met matt, who i think i would be lost without.
i dont want to go into it to much for the sake of me not continuously crying but the fact that i can hav the life with him now and be a "grown up" and go into the real world with him and start building my future and im excited and fully ready to do that but now i feel lik once i finally get what ive been waiting for my whole life, now has to be put on hold for 2 years so i can go and finish at wcc and just gayness bc i never had any sence of direction.
BLEHHHH im stoping right now before i get on a rampage.
all im saying is that i miss matt and i love him soo much and i cant wait to be wiht him again and forever and so on and so forth. i just hate the position i am in in life right now.
but i guess sometimes we gotta go through the pain to experiance the joy.
and hopefully that saying will get me through the days.
bc lik he said.... itll all be worth it in the end
:D

<3333
renee