growing old

blehh i dont hav alot of time to type everything i wanna say so im gonna sum it up as much as possible.

matt keeps saying hes lod and blah blah blah. im so tired of it. its not nessesarly his age that makes him feel hes old, its his body and his life that feels old. and thats bc he works way too much. i mean i understand why and blah blah, but hes outa the hole and i know hes saving up but he has plently of time to save. so if he takes it easy for a bit itll take him a little longer, but at least hell be living a life, instead of working himself into the ground. i think he needs to see his friends, and his family, and be able to see me. its not good to shut yourself out for so long bc then you start to loose yourself and what is truely important to you. i know getting older there is pressure to hav this and that but what the hell is everyone in such a rush for. ive been thinking so much about my own life and i dont want to get to into it, but all i know is that very soon im going to start living it the way i want. i dont want to piss of or upset anyone, like my family, but im goign to be doing the things that ive always wanted and live the life that ive been looking for, and im not letting anythin hold me back. i wanna be happy and its my life and only my actions are going to change the way i live. you only live once and i want to actually life and be happy and be around ppl i love. i wanna laugh, and cry, and play, and live for today not tomarrow. and its easier said than done. i think matt has been saying something along the lines of this, but he has yet to take his own advise. i just want to make him realize htat he cant shut himself out formt he worl to save money for the future. he can hav both. that is certainly what will make him happier. so what itll take you a little longer to reach your goal. but like i said, what is the rush. anything can happen, and i wouldnt wanna go outa this worl with regrets on how i lived my life, and that i followed everyone elses standards excoet my own.

anywho i must go to work now.
think about what im saying ppl dont let anyone hold you back

<3333
love renee