what the fcuk thursday

its offical....im alone in the world. goddamn it today suckk mucho asso. i 'worked' for my aunt at the house. at least this time my babysitting was MORE of babysitting than the other bulshit. but of course there was that too. i have no friends at this point. i really dont think we will stay in touch. and why doesnt smoking weed bring people together. what the fuck it the point. i think thats the real reason im so distant with my friends. i dont smoke and when i say im gonna drink....i never do. is that such a fuckking crime?!?!well aperently to my friends it is. i hate them. today at this moment i think i deserve the right to say that without offending anyone now or in the future. i lied today....not that majore but of course i felt bad about it. and im not going to confess. which will make me feel bad even more. but i decided to let this one go. i cried 2 times today. and i know ill be crying myself to sleep tonight. i just wish i had my ipod for some acoustic music to set the mood. haha. im never good enough. and that tiring me out. im so sick of being nothing when im really something. when am i going to meet and be with that people that realize that?? today is so insecure and i wish for many things. anywho i want to go to bed so i can think about some things....but hopefully ill get a jump start on the valencia competition this weekend since i havent done anything yet. good night ot know one that cares....renee